Art of 'Jollufying'..The Orkut way!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Sphere: Related Content

I was recently watching an interview with Shailesh Rao, MD of Google India, in one of the news channels. I was not surprised when he quoted that India is the second largest user of Orkut in the world after Brazil. There is no doubt about it if you have noticed the amount of time people around you spend on the site. Orkut has been used for various activities from tracking down the whereabouts of your childhood friends to finding a new life partner. Orkut is indirectly competing with matrimonial sites as well as job boards to name few businesses. I was bit surprised to know that the religion based communities on Orkut are acting as matchmakers.

Ok, lemme cut to the chase. My intention of writing this articleis not to glorify Orkut or to list out the benefits of the same, but to throw some light on the most active species on Orkut who belong to a universal community called “Jollus”. Lemme first explain what Jollu in Kannada & Tamil means. “Jollu” means saliva and is often referred to people who salivate at the site of the opposite sex, people who are desperate to see, touch, talk sense, smell and show some kind of desperation to the opposite sex. Orkut no doubt has become a major platform for jollus to perform their act. Jollus are not even bothered to understand the fact that Orkut is an open forum and express their desperation through a communication vehicle called Scraps, which is visible for everybody who visits a particular profile. The Jollus on Orkut have evolved over a period of 2 years and often update and upgrade the statements they make to befriend girls. The opening statements they make vary from Jollus to jollus depending upon their class, upbringing, vocabulary etc. From very colloquial statements to Shakespeare stuffs, from very interesting statements to pale dialogs, sometimes it’s hilarious too.

Below are some of the opening statements I have come across in my 'female friends' (Lemme not complicate it by saying girl friends) scrap books and of course made by the Jollus. These are tried and tested statements, by any chance if you are one of the Jollu in the making, do try and come out with some innovative statements instead using the same old funny stuffs.

P.S: All the characters, statements mentioned below defenetly resemble some one dead or alive and not just a mere coincident. Yes, I have copied below scraps directly from the scrap books and have not bothered to change the senders (jollu’s) names in some cases. If somebody thinks it’s their statement and I have no authorization to publish the same in my blog, they can get in touch with me. It’s been long time that I broke someone in half. If somebody think I am intruding their privacy or copying content, lemme reiterate that Orkut is an open forum and copying scraps from it will not tantamount to plagarism(More over, I am giving credit to the writers by not removing their names).

Like always, my comments in RED.

• Can we cross the limits of being strangers and be friends? (Infiltration is crime)
• Do u agree our friendship. (Where is the agreement??)
• Hi wana b ur frnd. (Will get back to you)
• Hi.. ur face is familiar to me.... (I was your sister in previous birth.)
• Hey.... Was going through ur profile, found it interesting, so am writing to u.....As a normal routine, I know u must be tired of people saying, "hiii there, u r cute, u r pretty, i like ur smile, i like ur eyes....... and stuff"......and i can imagine how irritating it can be when someone out of know where jumps up and says....... "DO u wanna be my friend, or can i be ur friend" and u feel like, Man DO i KNow u ....Hence i would definitely not do the same, neither would i ask u to be my friend... All i shall say is, "WHy dont we start a conversation and let friendship develop on its on....." Hope u would.... (How are u related to Shakespeare??)
• Hi nice smile on ur face iam rohit wann to scrap me. (You are already scrapped off)
• Hai, Add me as a friend. (Will add to my hit list).
• Hi budy u want to friendship with me. (Sure, If you are alive after meeting my Boyfriend)
• hai shwetha how r u i want make friend with u (Make it in your dreams)
• hi........shwetha my name is santosh this is my no 998652***9. Please give mis cal or cal me m waiting yaar. (Indecent proposal).
• u don know me....i too don know u...but u look interestin...if u are here for makin new fnds then scrap me back otherwise leave it...i wil be waitin take care... (If v donno each other, just F**k off)
• Your profile is very interesting…can you tell me more about the picture you have in your album. (Idiot, pictures are self explanatory)
• Hi, how ru m dinesh from haryana will u frndshp wth me.(Why not uncle, I am ur daughter’s friend)
• Hi im mangesh from pune. i wanna know more about u ...can we be frnds ?? (Ask my husband to know more about me)
• Hi… i'm Ravi..may i hav d pleasure of bein ur frnd....?ping me back soooonnn...waitn 4 ur reply ( Not interested in pinging pigs)
• Hi beautiful... i m interested in u through ur profile.. i wud like to know more abt u.. If u also have no probs please do reply (If you also have no probs????what does it mean??)

Posted by Pradeep A.J  


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